PURPOSE
The purpose of this article is to present a concept that
furthers counterscript [1] theory; defines
sequences of not-OKness; focuses on second by second interlocking
[2] script behavior [3]. It focuses as well on second by second
individual scripty behavior; links second by second behavior with the life
script; [4] and finally suggests a theory
of specific, transaction by transaction, script transmission.
ASSUMPTIONS
In Games Alcoholics Play Steiner
[5], defines the counterscript as "an
acquiescence to the cultural and social demands that are transmitted through
the Parent". [6] Steiner further reports
that since the witch mother or troll father injunctions are more potent than
the counterscript, the counterscript never succeeds. When Berne discusses a
winner's script in What Do You Say After You Say Hello [7]?, he suggests the basic
rule seems to be that such a script payoff comes from the Nurturing Parent
through the counterscript slogans: "A nonwinner gets his payoff from the
controlling Parent through injunctions. A loser is led down the path to a bad
payoff by the provocations and seductions of his parent's crazy Child, which
tempts his self-destructive demons." [8]
The Miniscript concept suggests that there are not-OK
counterscripts and OK counterscripts. Shulamit Peck, [9] Taibi Kahler, and others have diagrammed
two script matrixes (as shown in figure 1).
(An article explaining this idea and elaborating on
structural and script analysis has just been completed.)
There are five not-OK counterscript slogans, or drivers,
which come from the not-OK Nurturant Parent, or Rescuing part. These
counterscript drivers seem to be helpful, but only invite the occurrence of the
not-OK script injunction. The five OK counterscript slogans, or allowers,
come from the OK Nurturant Parent, or Permission giving part. These
counterscript allowers strengthen the OK script injunction and yield a winner,
a person who makes his own destiny through authenticity.
Capers' belief that all human behavior starts with the
Little Professor as the initiator, coupled with Kahler's internal loop concept,
yields the following theory of OKness. As Little Fahrquahr is born, he is
completely dependent upon Mom and Dad, when they are in their OKness as well as
when they are in their not-OKness.
Fahrquahr's Little Professor senses that he must someday be
more self-sustaining. Mom and Dad charge one or two batteries within him as his
life begins. The more OK they are, the more his OK battery will be charged. The
more not-OK they come on, the more his not-OK battery will be charged. Each
battery must have a certain level charge before it can be used. His Little
Professor senses this and starts activating an internal mechanism which will
help him have parents with him throughout life; thus the establishment and
purpose of the Parent ego state. This ego state functions as a tape recorder to
be turned on when necessary. Fahrquahr's Little Professor will survive if he
can keep a battery charged up. If Mom and Dad first charge a not-OK battery by
discounting and stroking negatively, [10]
he is not able to start his own OK battery -- this needs to be done from an
external source initially -- so Fahrquahr activates his not-OK Parent tape
recorder and beats on himself when Mom and Dad are not around to do it for him.
This Parent acts as a generator for charging the battery (see figure 2).
This cycle -- Little Professor, through not-OK battery, to
not-OK Parent generator, to not-OK battery -- self-perpetuates not-OKness in
Fahrquahr's existence.
The more positive strokes Mom and Dad give, however, the
more Fahrquahr's OK battery gets charged, thus allowing a sequence of
self-perpetuating OKness: Little Professor through OK battery, through OK
Parent generator back to OK battery (see figure 3).
(This theory suggests primary internal sequences consistent
with the sequence of the miniscript.)
These apparent internal patterns offer an explanation for
acceptance of discounts or strokes going into drivers (discount related) or
allowers (positive stroke related). Fahrquahr must have some battery going to
exist. If he does not have sufficient source of energy to charge his OK
battery, and his not-OK battery is faltering, he will seek a discount or
negative stroke to get his not-OK battery charged, thus continuing to
perpetuate his life that way. When Fahrquahr decides he cannot take the pain of
this searching and Parent beating, in order to keep this not-OK battery
charged, he will risk trying to get his OK battery charged, or he will turn off
all generators, shut down outside stimuli, and withdraw to death.
This explanation fits in with the continuum idea of going
from loser to non-winner to winner suggested by Muriel James and Dorothy
Jongeward in Born to Win. [11]
DEFINITION OF THE MINISCRIPT
The miniscript is a sequence of behavior, occurring in a
matter of minutes or even seconds, that results in a reinforcement pattern for
life.
The not-OK miniscript is a sequence of not-OK behavior
(pathology), occurring in a matter of minutes or even seconds that results in
the reinforcement of the not-OK life script. The OK miniscript is a sequence of
OK behavior, occurring in a matter of minutes or even seconds, that results in
the reinforcement of script-free, self-directed, autonomous behavior.
The miniscript is also a concept readily applicable to
structural, transactional, game and script analysis, as well as a tool to be
used in treatment.
The Not-OK Miniscript
Good therapy has been done and continues to be done working
with the script injunctions and with the script payoff. [12]
There is, however, a better and faster tool - the
miniscript. The miniscript is not a new kind of script, but rather a tool to be
used in a treatment setting to enable the patient to re-direct his life.
The four parts of the not-OK miniscript are:
counterscript drivers; stoppers, (or script injunctions);
[13] Vengeful Child; and final
miniscript payoff.
In the not-OK miniscript are the counterscript drivers that
is, messages that seem to invite the person to come out of his stopper, yet in
the long run only invite him to go deeper into it. For example, to a stopper of
"Feel inadequate," a counterscript driver might be "Be perfect" (get all A's).
The gut level message is "You're inadequate." In order for the child to get out
of feeling inadequate, he believes he must "Be perfect" (get all A's). If he
does not get all A's he has set himself up to feel even more inadequate. Thus,
the counterscript driver is not a way out of the script but, in reality, an
invitation to go even deeper.
Little Fahrquahr has just been born. He has 20-20 vision and
sees life and people very clearly. Since Mommy and Daddy live under the
influence of their own not-OK messages, they insist that he does not see life
clearly and invite him to put on a pair of script glasses very similar to their
own. With these scripty glasses Fahrquahr will see an image of life consistent
with that distortion described as reality by his parents. After a little while,
they see Little Fahrquahr going blind from wearing these glasses. They decide
that in order for him not to go blind they will grind the lens of the top part
of the glasses in such a way that he will be able to see a little bit, the
counterscript driver part.
As Fahrquahr grows older he will seek people who see the
same type of distortions -- whether they be friends or spouse.
Vengeful Child behavior is spiteful behavior. When a person
is in his Vengeful Child he's saying, "I'll show YOU." [14] The Vengeful Child position
incorporates not-OK parts of Critical Parent as well as Vengeful Child, a part
of the Adapted Child. An active Vengeful Child can be seen by games of
NIGYSOB or Blemish; or through, for example, practical jokes.
Passive-aggressive Vengeful Child behavior can be seen in the following
example: Little Fahrquahr has a stopper of "Feel confused" (You're stupid). He
is asked to take the garbage out. In doing so he spills it by the side of the
garbage can onto the lawn (Vengeful Child), returns to an irate mother who is
screaming, "You stupid..." He gets a payoff by being called "stupid" (Adapted
Child) and at the same time, although he is the underdog (home-base position of
I'm not-OK--You're OK), he believes he is "making mother angry by his Vengeful
Child actions. Procrastination is another passive-aggressive Vengeful Child
maneuver.
Just as not-OK rebellion is reflected in Vengeful Child
behavior, and OK rebellion is reflected in Free Child behavior, so Vengeful
Child is reflected in not-OK antiscript behavior: 1) "They may have been living
on their counterscript, and the apparent rebellion is merely an outbreak of
script;" 2) "Conversely, they may have been living on their scripts, and
shifted to their counterscripts;" 3) "They may have different script directives
from each parent, or from one set to another;" 4) "They may be merely following
a special script directive that tells them to rebel;" 5) "The person may be a
'script failure' who has despaired of carrying out his script directives and
has simply given up." Examples of OK (Free Child rebellion) antiscript behavior
include: 1) "They may have found the spellbreaker, and be released from their
scripts;" and 2) "He may have freed himself and 'got out of his script' through
his own efforts or with the help of psychotherapy. [15]
The final miniscript payoff may incorporate such behavior as
feeling alone, unwanted, unloved, not worthwhile, cornered, hopeless, and so
on. This fourth position -- the final miniscript payoff -- called final because
a person may choose to have a payoff at any one of the four positions.
The Sequence of the Not-OK Miniscript
The not-OK miniscript is an observable pattern of behavior.
All not-OKness will be reflected in the not-OK miniscript. First the person
behaves under the influence of the counterscript driver; then he behaves under
the influence of the stopper (which may emerge as Vengeful Child behavior to
avoid the I'm not-OK feeling); then, possibly, he moves into final miniscript
payoff behavior. This may be written as a formula and diagrammed as in figure
4.
The position of a person when he is in his counterscript
driver is I'm OK -- If.... The position of a person when he is in his stopper
is I'm not-OK -- You're OK, which is a "Get away from" position. The position
of a person when he is in his Vengeful Child is I'm OK -- You're not OK, which
is a "Get rid of" position. The position of a person when he is in his final
miniscript payoff behavior is I'm not-OK -- You're not-OK, which is a "Get
nowhere" position.
A person will advance to that position in his miniscript
that provides reinforcement for his not-OK life position(s).
Figure 5 reflects the relative "needs" a person has to keep
a life space constant. [16] In order to
maintain this life space, a person would be in his OK miniscript about
one-eighth of his time, thus reinforcing the I'm OK -- You're OK position
enough to maintain that position. He would spend most of his not-OK miniscript
time (transactions) in his stopper; second most in his final miniscript payoff;
and least time in his Vengeful Child.
Every second of the day a person is in either his OK
miniscript or his not-OK miniscript. When he is in his not-OK miniscript, he is
generating energy to strengthen his (not-OK) life script. He will be
reinforcing one (rarely two) of six such life scripts. Berne describes each:
- 1) Never; "I never make it. As a child I was forbidden by
my parents to do the things I wanted to do."
- 2) Always; "If that's what you want to do, then you can
spend the rest of your life always doing it. You made your bed of sin, now you
have to lie in it."
- 3) Until; "You can't have fun until
- 4) After; "You can have your fun for awhile, but then
afterwards your troubles will begin. If life is good, something bad will
happen. Things have to balance out."
- 5) Over and Over; "I almost made it, but not quite. I do
the same thing over and over. If only, if only..."
- 6) Open End; "I've made no plans after retirement,
menopause, when the kids leave home, etc." [17]
Counterscript Drivers
Observations of several thousand people strongly suggest
that there are five -- and only five -- basic counterscript drivers: "Be
perfect," "Try hard," "Hurry up," "Please me," and "Be strong." Each
counterscript driver is like a door leading to a staircase connecting a series
of basements. each one full of I'm not-OK - You're OK position rackets, such as
depressing, guilt, The first level is full of I'm not-OK - You're OK position
rackets, such as depression, guilt, worry, inadequacies, confusion, etc. The
second level basement is full of I'm OK -- You're not-OK rackets such as anger
and triumph. The deepest basement is full of I'm not-OK -- You're OK rackets
such as aloneness, unloved, cornered, unwanted, rejected, and so on. Before a
person can feel any of these racket feelings, he first must go through one or
more of these five counterscript driver doors in order to got into the basement
of his not-OKness.
The "Hurry up" counterscript driver invites a person to do
things faster, talk rapidly or more quickly. The person, when under this driver
influence, believes that he must do everything "right now." He may interrupt
people, thus "hurrying them up" to finish their sentence, glance at his watch
frequently, or tap his fingers impatiently. When he is demanding others to
hurry, he is under this "Hurry up" influence. This counterscript driver is
symbolized by the White Rabbit, who insists, "I'm late, I'm late, for a very
important date!" Alice has to hurry to catch him.
When a person is under the influence of his "Be perfect"
counterscript driver, he strives for perfection, or expects others to do so. He
may use big words, tell more than he is asked to tell, Or cover all the bases.
He believes he has to give a great deal of information so that people will
understand him "just right." He is under the misconception that if he is not
perfect, that means that he is not-OK. The pedantic caterpillar in Alice in
Wonderland who demanded perfect grammar symbolizes "Be perfect."
When a person is under the influence of his "Try hard"
counterscript driver, he invites others to try hard with him. He may not answer
questions directly, may repeat questions, pause, go off on tangents, or say
things like "It's hard for me," or "I don't know" (when he actually does). An
example of the "Try hard" driver is when a man is caught in quicksand with
safety within his reach. If he struggles (Try hard), he will sink. If he moves
slowly and thoughtfully he will reach safety.
When a person is under the influence of his "Be strong"
driver, he is stoic, holding in his feelings. He may talk in a monotone and
evidence few signs of excitement. Spartan warriors were programmed very early
to believe that feelings were a weakness, that a man should be strong.
When a person is under the influence of his "Please me"
driver, he feels responsible for "making" others feel good. He may agree freely
with others. It may be important for him to be liked, and he may have an
investment in getting the approval of others. He may look away before he
answers questions, nod his head frequently, raise his eyebrows, say "um hmm"
often, or be interested in finding out "How am I doing?" This is the Good Guy
or Sweetheart. [18]
THE OK MINISCRIPT
(by Hedges Capers)
Just as the not-OK part of the miniscript invites a person
into not-OKness, so the OK part invites him into OKness. The four parts of the
OK miniscript are: the allower; the goer; the Affirming Free
Child,- and the wower.
When a person sees his not-OK miniscript on the blackboard,
he is faced with a decision either to hold onto it or to give it up and make
some new choices. We have observed reactions from the "Wow! I can see that" and
"I can change that" to the frightened person who says "Now what will I do?"
When a person considers change, the Parent tapes play louder than ever. This is
the phenomenon of the despairing patient who "is now faced with the archaic
fears which he previously warded off by playing games, thus fulfilling his
script." [19] It often seems too much to
write a new script. At this point, the therapist draws the OK miniscript beside
the not-OK miniscript on the board and explains it, and he and the patient
explore the OK parts of his miniscript (see figure 6).
"What can you substitute for the driver?" Life-giving,
nurturing allowers begin with "It's OK to With humor and hope and support the
therapist asks "What does your Child need? What does your Child want?" For the
driver, "Be perfect," the allower can be It's OK to make a mistake; It's OK to
fail; It's OK to get dirty. These reparenting [20] messages selected by the patient, who
knows his own needs, form the specifics for his allowers that are the
antitheses to his drivers. It is not humanly possible to be perfect, or have
others be perfect. He sets himself up for disappointment with that unrealistic
driver. "It's OK to be human; You don't have to make an impression."
The "Hurry up" driver leaves the person trying to get
someplace else. His allower is "It is OK to live now, to take your time." "You
have time to do anything you want to do." Instead of "Try hard," the allower is
"It's OK to do it; it's OK to finish what you're doing; it's OK to do it well;
It's OK to win. I like you just like you are -- you are beautiful. Life can be
fun."
When a person is in his "Please me," he needs to know it's
OK to rely on his own judgments and to take care of his own needs. He needs to
know he is lovable and his worth is not dependent upon other people's judgment.
It is OK for him not to be responsible for other people's feelings. It is OK
for him to accept the responsibility for his own feelings.
The antithesis to "Be strong" is the allower "Be open"- to
be close and feel and express feelings. "It's OK not to be strong." "It's OK to
be human."
For each river, there is an allower, as in table 1:
TABLE I
| Be perfect. |
It's OK to be yourself. |
| Hurry up. |
It's OK to take your time. Try hard. It's
OK to do it. |
| Please me. |
It's OK to consider yourself and respect
yourself. |
| Be strong |
It's OK to be open (and to take care of
your own needs). |
These allowers are available to all of us and seem, at this
point, to be inclusive. The fact that a patient is in therapy shows him that he
has some Permission to live and to be. So just as we render impotent the driver
by giving him the option of the allower (not-OK Parent to OK Parent) so we deal
with the script injunction, the stopper. We give the client Permission to
disobey the primary script injunctions and to do something he chooses in place
of the "Don't be" messages. In an early lecture, Dr. Berne responded to a
mother who asked about children who play You've Got to Listen to Me that
this is a possible position of the criminal. She was dismayed that he said that
you give your children a whole smorgasbord of options and they choose what they
need or want. You can't take blame or credit for the specific choice they make.
I have never known a parent who gave his children only bad messages. The good
ones can be brought into focus. In the goers, we are helping the client see and
remember the positive options they gave him, or to choose the new (reparenting)
messages he wants.
For the wide range of "Don't be" messages, there are
corresponding "Be" or "Go" messages. We deal with Vengeful Child activities in
the same way. Acting out Vengeful Child can be replaced by Free Child
appropriate behavior -- and the final miniscript payoff feelings can be given
up and replaced by a "Wow" feeling of choice. Instead of feeling inadequate --
feel confident. Instead of unloved -- feel loved. Instead of rejected -- feel
accepted.
It is important that the person be in his Adult when these
methods are being discussed with him. Putting the two miniscripts on the
blackboard, asking him to fill in the messages and feelings, enhances the
chances of his being in his Adult.
It is not enough just to know about our not-OKness. Keeping
in the OK miniscript assists the patient in giving up despair and in having
hope.
The Sequence of Getting Well
As a person in therapy becomes "more OK" and shifts from a
loser to a non-winner to a winner, he is beginning to listen more to CK
messages and injunctions than to not-OK ones. He takes off his hearing aid
(along with the glasses, a present from Mom and Dad) and begins listening in
the "here and now." This is, in essence, parenting - giving himself Permission
to listen and respond to the messages which form the OK miniscript. Reparenting
with the OK miniscript consists of listening without his hearing aid to someone
(OK), whom he loved or revered. This would enable him to discover his new OK
miniscript options and to choose his new OK miniscript payoffs.
Getting well (I'm OK -- You're OK) means shifting from the
negative, not-OK miniscript to the positive, OK miniscript, which, perforce,
means extinguishing the (not-OK) life script. There is a definite pattern in
getting well. A person will have extinguished first position four in the not-OK
miniscript (the final miniscript payoff); next he will have extinguished
position three (the Vengeful Child position); next, he will have extinguished
position two (the stopper); last, he will extinguish his drivers. Not only has
this been observed, but it is also logically consistent.
Given that a person spends ten units of time per day in
driver behavior, he may escalate into his stopper seven of those times, into
his Vengeful Child five of those times, and all the way into his final
miniscript payoff only three of the original ten times. Since the not-OK
miniscript is a sequence either of 1-2, 1-2-3-, 1-2-3-4-, 1-2-4, or 2-3-4, by
focusing on position one, a person reduces the number of times that he would be
able to escalate into any of the other three positions. By reducing the number
of times he is in his driver by three, he has therefore extinguished his final
miniscript payoff, leaving then seven times in the driver, four times in the
stopper and two times in the Vengeful Child. If he further reduces his driver
by two, he will have eliminated Vengeful Child; and by reducing it by another
two he will have eliminated the stoppers.
Since the not-OK miniscript is a sequence, a person is not
able to feel any racket feelings (worry, guilt, depression, anger, inadequacy,
unloved, confusion, hopelessness, etc.) without first going through one of the
five counterscript drivers. This means that a person who stops his driver
behavior will not ever again escalate into a racket feeling. Stopping driver
behavior is, without a doubt, easier than focusing on a racket feeling like
depression and stopping it. By using a different word, changing a facial
expression, adjusting a posture, shifting a tone, or altering a gesture, it is
possible to stop resultant feelings of inadequacy, confusion, guilt, worry,
anger, depression, and so on, from again occurring.
Not-OK Miniscript Chart
The not-OK miniscript is the kernel from which emerges the
(not-OK) life script. At first Little Fahrquahr mimics sensed patterns of
behavior. (Not-OK miniscript sequences have been observed in year-old babies.)
Soon Little Fahrquahr starts integrating and elaborating on this basic, sensed
patterned, 11 required" by Mom and Dad. He selects his stoppers very early in
life, along with certain rackets, and later adds other reinforced rackets to
his collection. His five drivers are sifted out and reinforced by Mom and Dad
so that a definite ranking is established. These counterscript drivers were
implanted within the first few years, yet the specific ways of implementing
them were not fixed until between the years of six and twelve.
The miniscript differs from Berne's formula for the script
by the inclusion of counterscript. Berne's formula is: Early Parental Influence
[Counterscript ] Program Compliance Important Behavior Payoff. Berne's script
formula was linear; that is, it grew as a function of time. The miniscript seed
suggests growth on two dimensions -- intensity and expansion. As Little
Fahrquahr grows older, the more he stays in not-OKness, the more he will comply
with the not-OK messages he has accepted. Had he accepted a message to "feel
inadequate," the more he would stay in his not-OK life script and the more
intense he would allow that message of inadequacy to become. Important behavior
originally starts as a behavioral phenomenon [21] (words, tones, gestures, posture, and
facial expressions). This important behavior grows by expanding into major
behavioral aspects of the (not-OK) life script, such as recurrent
hospitalization, divorces, suicide, attempts, and so on.
The miniscript chart is useful in identifying the not-OK
miniscript for group treatment and personal purposes.
It affords a person the advantage of identifying the
specific times and ways that he goes into not-OKness. The completed driver
section reflects typical examples of such counterscript behavior. By close
scrutiny of second-by-second transactions, a person can fill out his not-OK
miniscript chart as well as an OK miniscript chart.
Just as games can be interrupted at any point, so can the
not-OK miniscript. Stopping the not-OK miniscript at the initial counterscript
driver level insures, however, that no further rackets will be felt. Just as
all games start with a discount, [22] so
do all not-OK miniscripts. By stopping games, one does not stop his not-OK
miniscript. By stopping his drivers one does, however, stop one's games,
rackets, not-OK positions, and not-OK life scripts.
The Not-OK Miniscript and Structural, Transactional,
Game and Script Analysis
The not-OK miniscript reflects structural analysis by
presenting the sequence of not-OKness that a person may go through. This
sequence will start with an internal discount triggering one or more of the
five drivers. As he comes on to another actively with his not-OK miniscript
behavior, a person is evidencing transactional analysis. Game analysis, as
observed by John Kesterson, is reflected by two people transacting from their
counterscript drivers at the social level, and from their stoppers, Vengeful
Child, or final miniscript payoff positions at the ulterior level. Script
analysis is also explained by the not-OK miniscript concept. An integral
dynamic of transmitting a script is the invitation to another to accept one's
own driver, stopper, Vengeful Child, or final miniscript payoff. Little
Fahrquahr's Mom and Dad invited him to accept either or both of their drivers
so he could see life as they did. A person with a "Be perfect" driver when
asked questions like, "How much is two plus two?" might well respond, if in his
not-OK miniscript, "That is a function of the base system to which you are
referring." He is "being perfect" in mathematical theory as well as in grammar.
If the other person has an interlocking driver such as "Be perfect" or "Try
hard" or "Please me," he may be prompted to be perfect, try hard, or please
others by asking more "intelligent and perfect questions," thereby having a
script symbiosis, or interlocking not-OK miniscript relationship, with that
other person. Such as interlocking not-OK miniscript would invite not-OKness
more frequently and more rapidly, with the help of the other person's not-OK
part. A person when in his driver of "Try hard" may repeat questions, not
answer questions directly, pause or say, "I don't follow you," with a frown or
perplexed appearance. The invitation to another is for him to accept this
driver and "Try hard" to get the initial person to understand.
Fanita English has suggested the hot potato or episcript
phenomenon? [23] Such a phenomenon exists
at all four positions of the not-OK miniscript, not just at the hot potato
(Vengeful Child) intensity. Thus, a warm potato phenomenon is suggested, which
is consistent with Frank Ernst's idea of the invitation of passing off one's
rackets to another. [24]
[The
Miniscript Chart]
Eric Berne discovered the dynamics of the not-OK miniscript
in one of his groups:
Mrs. Sayers stretched her arms out across Mrs. Catter's
chest to reach for an ash tray on the end table. As she drew her arms back she
lost her balance and almost fell off the couch. She recovered just in time,
laughed deprecatingly, muttered "Excuse me!" and settled back to smoke. At this
moment Mrs. Catter took her attention away from Mr. Troy long enough to mutter
"Pardon me." Here, condensed into a few seconds, is the story of Mrs. Sayer's
life. She tries to be careful but does things in an awkward way. She almost
comes to grief but is rescued just in time. She apologizes, but then someone
else takes the blame [25]
Elements of two interlocking not-OK miniscripts are
apparent. Mrs. Sayer has a "Try hard" (to be careful) driver; both a "feel
inadequate" (clumsy) stopper and a "don't feel what you feel" (deprecating
laugh) stopper; and, finally, a hurt feelings (grief) final miniscript payoff.
Mrs. Catter has a "Try hard" (took her attention away from Mrs. Troy) to
"Please me" (pardon me) driver; a "feel guilty" (take the blame) stopper, which
will probably lead to depression as a final miniscript payoff.
A person will choose another (as a mate) on the basis of an
interlocking not-OK miniscript. By focusing on the dynamics of interlocking
not-OK miniscripts, a marriage counselor will be able to predict the
probability of success and potential time spent in not-OKness in pre-marital
counseling with a couple. For example, a person with a "Be perfect" will search
for a person with a "Please me." An example of such interlocking not-OK
miniscripts can be diagrammed, as in figure 7.
When Ruth is in her driver of "Pleasing and Being perfect,"
David is invited to "Be perfect," to which he readily agrees, having such a
driver. He, at this point, plays a subtle game of NIGYSOB, "Obviously
you should have thought about ..." (Vengeful Child). She then responds in the
stopper by feeling inadequate. David then feels responsible for her inadequacy
and feels guilty, she feels responsible for him too, and she withdraws with
depression into her final miniscript payoff of unloved. He observes her
withdrawal and shifts into his own final miniscript payoff of aloneness. Ruth
may recycle by trying to please him, and so on, ad infinitum.
Ruth and David originally met at a party where the men put
their script glasses on a table and the women put theirs on another. While
pastiming and gaming the men tried on each woman's glasses and each woman tried
on every man's glasses. David and Ruth discovered that they could see through
each other's glasses - it was love at first image. The closer they became, the
more they did not see and the more their images departed from reality, each
inviting the other deeper into his not-OK miniscript and (not-OK) life script,
The basis for all interlocking miniscript (not-OK) behavior
is the single belief that "I can make you feel (good, or bad) by what I say"
and/or "You can make me feel (good or bad) by what you say." This single belief
is the key to all scripting, as well as to individual not-OKness. When a
patient gives up the belief that others are responsible for feelings, he will
extinguish his not-OK behavior. The second most hampering message is "don't
think." If a person obeys this "rule," he cannot understand his problem, be
aware of his stopper, examine his past decision and consider making a new one.
"Don't think" means don't plug in your Adult. [26]
The Miniscript in Therapy
The miniscript is a valuable tool for treatment, in that it
affords the therapist a means of identifying and treating the (not-OK) life
script by breaking up the behavior of the not-OK miniscript. This not-OK
miniscript follows a definite order, a predictable sequence which permits here
and now confrontations of scripty behavior. For example a therapist might
confront a patient who continues to "Try hard" by not answering a question
directly with a contract for direct answers. To a patient who looks away
("Please me") before answering, a contract may be offered to keep eye-to-eye
contact. If he "forgets," the therapist may repeat the contract or use his Free
Child by moving his head to catch the patient's attention. If the patient
continues to "forget" the contract by "slipping," this means he has a strong
"Try hard" and possible problems with his anger. (He may well have a "Never"
script.)
When a patient comes for an initial interview, the following
sequence is used. Allow him to talk for a few minutes and jot down his not-OK
miniscript. (It is possible, by focusing on words, tones, gestures, postures,
and facial expressions, to pick up a person's not-OK miniscript within a few
minutes, even if he talks about the weather.) The sequence is shown to him,
without labels, asking if it is accurate (not telling him). The miniscript is
an incredibly powerful tool. Like any tool, it can be used in an OK way or in a
not-OK way. Using this tool in a non-threatening way with OK Nurturant Parent
and Free Child, when appropriate, affords the optimal invitation to a patient
to enter his OK miniscript.
When the patient sees and agrees to his sequence of
not-OKness, a contract is offered for each position of the not-OK miniscript.
It is then explained that all these contracts can be fulfilled by stopping
position one (driver) behavior.
An explanation of the not-OK miniscript is then offered to
the patient.
The final miniscript payoff is just a racket feeling; it has
no power in itself; it can be owned, examined, accepted, rejected, or replaced.
The patient's Vengeful Child activities are patterned puppet behavior, and that
behavior was once valuable, but no longer brings satisfaction, and he can
decide to behave differently. The stopper is recorded and the recording is
going to stay there -- the patient has made a decision some time before to
accept that injunction, because it seemed most appropriate at that time. He is
told that it is no longer appropriate and that he can make a new decision. Most
potent and most easily accepted is the belief that the patient can understand
his drivers and decide not to live under their influence any more. This
decision is often the easiest decision to make. The decision pertaining to the
stopper (Vengeful Child behavior) and final miniscript payoff behavior are all
gut-level decisions based on a concretized kind of thinking which is best
understood by a child and difficult for a person using rational thinking to
cope with. The thinking which went into the decision to accept the drivers was
made by the patient at a time when he was not old enough to use rational
thinking. This kind of thinking is easier to redecide than the others. A person
deciding not to live under the influence of his drivers cannot go under the
influence of his stoppers; nor will he engage in Vengeful Child activities or
accept final miniscript payoff.
Good therapy is being done when a person chooses to turn in
bad feelings and gets good feelings. As a person acknowledges not-OK sequences
he is in his Adult (out of bad feelings). A patient often says "Wow!"
indicating that he's learned something and feels it - and at this point,
therapy has begun.
Although traditional techniques are used, a here-and-now
focus is the fastest way of stopping the not-OK miniscript. If, for example, a
person asks to be regressed [27], or have an early Child cathected, he is Adult enough to
use his Adult, instead of regression, to observe his here-and-now behavior.
Only when a person refuses to cathect his Adult after several different
invitations by the therapist is it appropriate to use a technique which
attempts to "clean out the rackets." Immediately after, the Adult can analyze
the not-OK sequence that allowed such racket feelings to occur. An ounce of
prevention is worth a ton of cure.
TA therapists have indicated that it takes two years for a
person to extinguish his not-OK life script. With the miniscript, people have,
at a gut-level, extinguished their not-OK life scripts within seven months.
A therapist needs to be aware of his own life script and his
not-OK miniscript so that he does not risk interlocking with his patients. Some
patients choose a therapist on the basis of how they can interlock in not-OK
miniscript behavior with him. This is not conscious, yet may persist.
Observation, preferably recorded by a video tape, of therapy sessions is a
valuable means of tracking down not only the patient's miniscript, but also any
interlocking not-OK miniscript behavior between therapist and patient that may
exist. (A camera on each has proved valuable .) [28]
Examples
A therapist who has a high-ranking "Try hard" driver may
"have difficulty" in getting contracts.
A therapist who has a high-ranking "Please me" driver will
usually be well liked, yet sets up patients to get well for him (Please me),
rather than getting well for themselves. By nodding, raising eyebrows, saying
"um hmm" or "OK" after the patient speaks, the therapist may be in his "Please
me," setting up the patient to please him. This appears as if the therapist is
thoughtful and conscientious and a good stroker. The reinforcement, if done
from "Please me," sets up transference quickly (since "Please me" usually
results in an I'm not-OK escalation, the other person does not " need" to fear
a Critical Parent), and perhaps permanently, unless the therapist stops his
driver.
A therapist can avoid getting hooked into his "Try hard"
driver by listening carefully for set-ups.
Patient: "I've really got a problem." (Pause) This
is an invitation to the therapist to "Try hard" ("What is it you want?"). A
response from the therapist is not required.
The following are clinical examples of training therapists
working with patients:
Therapist: "In what situations do you feel
depressed? When do you feel more depressed?" (Two questions in a row without a
response indicate a "Try hard.")
Patient: "Well, that's hard to nail down." ("Try
hard.")
Therapist: "Would you do this now?" ("Would" is
"Please me;" "Will" is Adult.)
Patient: "Yes, if you really want me to." ("Please
me.")
Therapist: "Exactly what do you feel right now in
the pit of your stomach?" ("Be perfect.")
Patient: "I wish I could tell you, I get so
confused." ("Please me" confusion.) Patient: "... then I got in touch
with ...... Therapist: (interrupting) "... that same old anger, and then
what?" ("Hurry up.")
Patient: "Which anger was that?" ("Try hard.")
When the therapist does not go into his drivers, a patient
will either stay in his OK miniscript with him (a result of charging up his OK
battery), or go into his drivers in hopes of hooking the therapist. If the
therapist does not choose to be hooked, the patient may escalate to his
favorite position in his own not-OK miniscript (e.g., I'm not-OK -- you're OK,
"because I'm so confused by you-," I'm OK -- You're not-OK, "because you don't
have any feelings, because I'm paying you to help me!;" I'm not-OK -- You're
not-OK "because if I keep quiet you'll keep analyzing me and thinking I'm dumb,
and if I say something you'll jump on it.").
A therapist must be Potent before he can give
Permission. [29] When a
therapist is authentic and consistent (congruent in words, tones, gestures,
posture, facial expressions) with his Permission to a patient, he is in his OK
miniscript. Being out of his not-OK miniscript and not letting himself get
hooked by a patient's drivers, establishes his Potency with that person. Before
a patient will accept Permission, then, he must sense that the therapist will
not stay in his own not-OK miniscript.
More-than-Hunches
There may be primary and secondary not-OK life scripts. The
earlier in life the script is formed, the stronger it is. Until and After
scripts are examples of early (at birth or preverbal) primal scripts. These
scripts may be products of stoppers, while secondary scripts, such as Open end,
may be a result of drivers. Extinguishing one of the six life scripts without
the use of the miniscript by traditional TA techniques does not always yield a
shift into the "I'm OK -- You're OK" position. [30] Janov's [31] findings are not inconsistent with
this. He has observed in hundreds of cases that when a patient who has had
gut-level drive "to wait until ... to do something" (Until script) goes through
a birth primal, he no longer manifests any (FMP, VC, S) behavior. In either
therapy, the drivers are still present -- an invitation to escalate into racket
feelings and more not-OKness.
The order of the drivers may be useful in predicting the
not-OK life script. For example, a person with a number one driver of "Be
perfect" will probably have an Until script, with stoppers of "don't be close,"
"don't trust ... .. feel guilty," "feel inadequate," and "don't be a child" or
"don't have fun." He will spend most of his not-OK time in his Vengeful Child
(I'm OK -- You're not-OK) playing NIGYSOB or Blemish, seldom
escalating to a final miniscript payoff. If he does, the rackets will be
unloved or unwanted. He may be a constant Adult, [32] having had to be the "man in the
family," either because he was the oldest or because his dad was not around.
His games may also include Harried; I'm Only Trying to Help You;
Freemasonry; or They'll Be Glad They Knew Me. He will be invited to
marry a woman who has a "Please me" as her first driver.
Footnotes
* At the February, 1973, workshop of the San
Diego Institute for Transactional Analysis, Hedges Capers christened the
miniscript as the Kahler Miniscript.
** With special thanks to Stephen Karpman for
editorial assistance.
---REFERENCES
[1] Steiner, Claude.
"Script and Counterscript," TAB, V:18, April, 1966, p. 143.
[2] Berne, Eric. What Do
You Say After You Say Hello? New York: Grove Press. 1972, p. 233.
[3] Ibid. p. 42.
[4] Berne, Eric. Sex
in Human Loving. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1970.
[5] Steiner, Claude.
"Script and Counterscript," TAB, V:18, April 1966, p. 134.
[6] Steiner, Claude.
Games Alcoholics Play. New York: Grove Press, 1971, p. 47.
[7] What Do You Say
After You Say Hello? p. 205.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Peck, Shulamit.
Presented at the Eric Berne Seminar in San Francisco, September, 1973.
[10] Kahler, T. and
Cooper, T. "Classifications of Strokes and Discounts," unpublished ms.
[11] James, M. and
Jongeward, D. Born to Win. Menlo Park: Addison-Wesley, 1971, p. 1.
[12] What Do You Say
After You Say Hello? pp. 110,113.
[13] Ibid. p. 107..
[14] Selinger, Zelig.
Paper presented at the Ninth Annual Summer Conference, San Francisco,
California, August, 1971.
[15] What Do You Say
After You Say Hello? pp.132,133.
[16] Ernst, Franklin.
"The OK Corral: The Grid for Get-On-With," TAJ, I:4, October, 1971, p. 23 1.
[17] Sex in Human
Loving, pp. 163-171.
[18] Harris, Amy. "Good
Guys and Sweethearts, TAJ, III:1, January 1972, pp. 13-19.
[19] Berne, Eric.
Principles of Group Treatment. New York: Oxford University Press, 1966,
p. 278.
[20] Schiff, Jacqui.
"Reparenting Schizophrenics," TAB, VIII:31, July 1969, pp. 49, 50.
[21] Transactional
Analysis in Psychotherapy. pp. 75,76.
[22] Schiff, Jacqui.
Personal communication.
[23] English, Fanita.
"Episcript and the 'Hot Potato' Game," TAB, VIII:32, Oct. 1969, pp. 77-82.
[24] Ernst, Franklin.
"Psychological Rackets in the OK Corral," TAJ, III:2, April 1973, pp. 19--23.
[25] Transactional
Analysis in Psychotherapy. p. 123.
[26] Kahler, T. and
Stuntz, E. "Treating Stupid Players," TAJ, III:2, April 1973, p. 33.
[27] Schiff, Jacqui.
"Reparenting Schizophrenics," TAB, VIII:31, July 1969, pp. 58-60.
[28] Such supervision
is being done at the San Diego Institute for Transactional Analysis.
[29] Crossman, Pat.
"Permission and Protection," TAB, V:19, July 1966, pp. 152-154.
[30] Kahler, Linda.
Personal communication.
[31] Janov, Arthur.
"Primal Scream" (film), 1971.
[32] Born to Win, p.
21
Copyright © Taibi Kahler, all rights
reserved.
About the
Author
In 1974, at the time of this article's writing,
Dr. Taibi Kahler,
Provisional Teaching Member, was on the staff of the San Diego Institute for
Transactional Analysis.
Dr. Hedges Capers, Teaching Member, was the Director of the
San Diego Institute for Transactional Analysis.
*This article was
originally published in the Transactional Analysis Journal, vol.
4, no. 1, January 1974, pp. 27-42.
See also the 1999 addendum by Taibi
Kahler. |
